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        The Webtender
        Bartender's Handbook

        Liquor Story

        JOHNNY WALKER was hunting with
        MARTINI & ROSSI when he met
        HIRAM WALKER coming down
        COBBA CREEK with
        QUEEN ANNE who lived on the
        CUTTY SARK up in
        HUDSON'S BAY near the
        GREEN RIVER.

        He took her, smelling like
        FOUR ROSES over to the
        TOWN TAVERN where he removed her
        GOLD LABEL and tickled her with
        THREE FEATHERS until she was
        BLACK & WHITE and dying for his
        CANADIAN CLUB with the
        RED CAP .

        He put his
        STANDFAST in her
        JORDAN VALLEY so they rented
        OLD OVERHOLT'S room at the
        MARYLAND CLUB and it was
        PERFECTION when he stuck his
        WHITE HORSE into her
        VAT '69 times and pumped his
        TEACHER'S HIGHLAND CREAM until her
        OLD DRUM was stretched as wide as
        MOUNT VERNON, and being
        SCOTCH he didn't even give her a
        SILVER DOLLAR.


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