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        1. The Webtender
          Bartender's Handbook

          Liquor Story

          JOHNNY WALKER was hunting with
          MARTINI & ROSSI when he met
          HIRAM WALKER coming down
          COBBA CREEK with
          QUEEN ANNE who lived on the
          CUTTY SARK up in
          HUDSON'S BAY near the
          GREEN RIVER.

          He took her, smelling like
          FOUR ROSES over to the
          TOWN TAVERN where he removed her
          GOLD LABEL and tickled her with
          THREE FEATHERS until she was
          BLACK & WHITE and dying for his
          CANADIAN CLUB with the
          RED CAP .

          He put his
          STANDFAST in her
          JORDAN VALLEY so they rented
          OLD OVERHOLT'S room at the
          MARYLAND CLUB and it was
          PERFECTION when he stuck his
          WHITE HORSE into her
          VAT '69 times and pumped his
          TEACHER'S HIGHLAND CREAM until her
          OLD DRUM was stretched as wide as
          MOUNT VERNON, and being
          SCOTCH he didn't even give her a
          SILVER DOLLAR.


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